That's too hard. I'm tired. I'm afraid. I loose control. All the pain he feels inside. His body, his mind, his voice, his tears. All had changed. No talk. Just TV, just bed. The "nolife". Fear in the wall. Nerves. I can't stand waiting. Wait about what? About what? Everybody knows but I don't want to trust in it. I can't. I'm ready to be here, next to him each day, each hour, but he let me fall. Lifes are destroyed. Anything will be as it was before. I don't know what it will be after. I don't want to know.